Firstly, in the interests of managing your expectations, no - there is no free laptop.
After all, why would there be? Laptop computers are expensive, valuable things. I'm hardly going to give you one just for reading a few paragraphs of text, am I? If you stop and think about it for a moment, it just doesn't make sense.
Which is why I was surprised to receive an e-mail earlier this week claiming that if I would just forward it on to 8 people, then Ericsson were going to give one to me.
Here's the test of the e-mail:
---------------------------------------------------
Subject: Free Ericsson Laptops
Hi everyone
Ericsson are distributing free laptops for their brand promotion.
They hope to increase their popularity and sales by this campaign.
All you need to do is send an email about this to 8 people and you will receive an Ericsson T18 Laptop.
However, if you send an email about this to 20 or more people, you will receive an Ericsson R320 Laptop.
Make sure you send a copy to: anna.swelung@ericsson.com
---------------------------------------------------
OK, let's tackle this one thing piece by piece.
If Ericsson were really trying to boost sales, why would they be giving away their products for free?
Ericsson T18 and R320 are mobile phones, not laptops, and discontinued models at that. Incidentally, I didn't know that off the top of my head. But, googling the text of the e-mail turned up (in one of the top links on the first page) that this e-mail was a hoax.
I'd guessed that already, but apparently none of the three people who forwarded this on to me either thought about it, nor took the time to check the facts before forwarding it on. One of those three isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, bless her, but the other two really should have known better. And judging by the number of forwards in the body of the message, the world is not short on gullibility.
I've previously received others: Bill Gates is giving away his fortune, apparently, and I'll get a free bottle of champagne for passing on another. Once again, the premise is the same: you get something for doing virtually nothing. I'm sorry to break this too you, but life doesn't work that way.
I once challenged an ex-boss of mine - someone who really should have known better - over her forwarding such a message out over company e-mail. It wasn't my smartest career move, and her response was "It's worth a try - it can't hurt to give it a go."
I was even less popular when I pointed out that the message (with all the headers and forwards) was 25 kilobytes big. If all 160 users at the company received just a single copy, that's 4Mb of data we've paid for coming down out internet link. If every recipient sent it on to 20 people as the message suggested, that's 81Mb of e-mail going out again. That is the first way chain letters like this can hurt - by directly increasing internet costs, or by blocking up e-mail systems, delaying the delivery of other, more important e-mails.
The second cost is to the individual's, and the company's, reputation. At the time, I was working for a professional services company. For a senior manager to send out a message from a company e-mail address makes a clear statement: "We have so little respect for our clients that, not only will we publish/broadcast your e-mail address to a group of strangers for our own selfish benefit, but we also can't be arsed doing a basic internet query to check our facts before showing you how stupid we are."
As I said, it wasn't the smartest career move I've ever made. But I stand by my comments then, and now.
Rich people, and rich companies, do not stay rich by giving away something for nothing. And if a spammer can pay $20 for a thousand e-mail addresses, why would someone give you a laptop for just 20?
A little common sense goes a long way.
Sunday 16 November 2008
Thursday 6 November 2008
An evening with...
Author's note: The story below is entirely fictitious, and may contain material or concepts of an adult nature. It is a tale of activities between two consenting adults, in the privacy of their own home. If you are likely to be offended by such, then don't read it. You have been warned.
----------------------------------
She sat on the couch, awaiting his arrival, little know what awaited her that evening. The message that her man had sent her was as exciting as it was cryptic: "I'll be there at 7pm sharp. Be on the couch, blindfolded, awaiting my arrival. Dress sexy.
It was rare that he, such a sweet and gentle man, took such an authoritative tone with with her - but knowing her as he did, she knew he was planning a surprise for her.
She had readied herself early this evening - drawing a warm scented bubble bath; and she had allowed time should she wish to luxuriate in it. However, anticipation got the better of her and she hastened her preparation.
Now that the appointed hour drew near, she lay on the couch sipping a glass of red wine. Clad only in a thin nightdress of black satin and lace, the wine warmed her inside as the radiance from the crackling fire did the same from without.
With a glance at the carriage clock on the mantelpiece, she saw that it was nearly time. The tone of the message was such that she knew he would not be late, and tardiness on her part would involve a punishment. She placed the wine goblet on the table and donned the blindfold, carefully tying the knot behind her head. As the clock began to chime the hour, a shiver ran up her spine as the heard the sound of a key in the door.
The door opened and then closed, and footsteps rang out across the floorboards as he walked wordlessly into the room. Over the crackle of the open fire, she heard him open his briefcase and then a rustling sound as if he had removed something from it.
Silence for a moment, and then the sound of his footsteps approaching.
She could hear his breath quicken as he surveyed her form, observing her before he placed his warm hand on her head - a delicate caress to smooth an errant strand of her wispy hair.
She felt the back of his hand gently stroke her cheek, one side and then the other. Her lips parted slightly, as if yearning for a touch from his as he moved closer. She felt something touch her lips, something softer than skin - a food of some kind. Whilst it was not unusual for them to use food as an object of seduction, it had been a while and she was greatly pleased at his thoughtfulness and attention to the finest detail.
She opened her mouth as he pushed the morsel in, and she immediately recognized the flavour that greeted her. The salty taste, combined with the creamy texture was unmistakable and she savoured it, smiling sensually as she did so.
She heard her man place a plate on the table in front of her. His hand reached around her head, stroking her ear as he did so, to the knot on the blindfold. With a deft flick her removed it, and light filled her world again. She gazed into his handsome eyes, relishing his fine form. With the flavour still on her lips, her gaze drifted to the plate on the table until.....
An involuntary gasp escaped he lips when she saw the morsels of food arrayed, and the container that was on the table. Her mind reeled suddenly, unable to reconcile what she saw before her. She turned to her man, and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
He smiled in return as his rich baritone voice said, "Yes, I know.... I can't believe it's not butter either!"
----------------------------------
She sat on the couch, awaiting his arrival, little know what awaited her that evening. The message that her man had sent her was as exciting as it was cryptic: "I'll be there at 7pm sharp. Be on the couch, blindfolded, awaiting my arrival. Dress sexy.
It was rare that he, such a sweet and gentle man, took such an authoritative tone with with her - but knowing her as he did, she knew he was planning a surprise for her.
She had readied herself early this evening - drawing a warm scented bubble bath; and she had allowed time should she wish to luxuriate in it. However, anticipation got the better of her and she hastened her preparation.
Now that the appointed hour drew near, she lay on the couch sipping a glass of red wine. Clad only in a thin nightdress of black satin and lace, the wine warmed her inside as the radiance from the crackling fire did the same from without.
With a glance at the carriage clock on the mantelpiece, she saw that it was nearly time. The tone of the message was such that she knew he would not be late, and tardiness on her part would involve a punishment. She placed the wine goblet on the table and donned the blindfold, carefully tying the knot behind her head. As the clock began to chime the hour, a shiver ran up her spine as the heard the sound of a key in the door.
The door opened and then closed, and footsteps rang out across the floorboards as he walked wordlessly into the room. Over the crackle of the open fire, she heard him open his briefcase and then a rustling sound as if he had removed something from it.
Silence for a moment, and then the sound of his footsteps approaching.
She could hear his breath quicken as he surveyed her form, observing her before he placed his warm hand on her head - a delicate caress to smooth an errant strand of her wispy hair.
She felt the back of his hand gently stroke her cheek, one side and then the other. Her lips parted slightly, as if yearning for a touch from his as he moved closer. She felt something touch her lips, something softer than skin - a food of some kind. Whilst it was not unusual for them to use food as an object of seduction, it had been a while and she was greatly pleased at his thoughtfulness and attention to the finest detail.
She opened her mouth as he pushed the morsel in, and she immediately recognized the flavour that greeted her. The salty taste, combined with the creamy texture was unmistakable and she savoured it, smiling sensually as she did so.
She heard her man place a plate on the table in front of her. His hand reached around her head, stroking her ear as he did so, to the knot on the blindfold. With a deft flick her removed it, and light filled her world again. She gazed into his handsome eyes, relishing his fine form. With the flavour still on her lips, her gaze drifted to the plate on the table until.....
An involuntary gasp escaped he lips when she saw the morsels of food arrayed, and the container that was on the table. Her mind reeled suddenly, unable to reconcile what she saw before her. She turned to her man, and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
He smiled in return as his rich baritone voice said, "Yes, I know.... I can't believe it's not butter either!"
Saturday 1 November 2008
Zen and the art of being an airline passenger
Zen Buddhists have a saying: "You do not have to understand the moment, to be in the moment."
Understanding the moment, and having a moment of perfect and total understanding, is a rare and beautiful thing. Some call it an epiphany, some call it divine grace, some call it nirvana. Whatever your name for it, having a perfect moment of self-awareness is something we should all strive for and treasure. Some Buddhists would argue that it is impossible to have total awareness of the universe. Taoists would tell you that it is possible, but you would be unable to explain it to anyone else, because we lack the words to describe it - an attempt to describe the Eternal Tao would be incomplete, and would therefore diminish it.
In any case, to lack complete understanding but still be in the moment - fully and totally focussed and aware without worries for the past or future - should not be underestimated. To be a rock in the stream: part of the river, yet outside it. Affecting the water, and affected by it, but also steadfast.
Being a passenger on an aeroplane is such an experience. You have control: you determined your origin and destination, and your flight time, but you have no control: the pilot steers the plane and determines where and when you land.
No effort on your part will make the journey quicker, you travel but you do not move and do not exert your will to affect the travel.
You stand on solid material, but exist far above the clouds.
You may have responsibilites or worries behind you or in front of you, but in the here and now you have none.
The world is below you and around you, but you cannot contact it and it cannot contact you.
It is a perfect opportunity to acheive a zen-like state, and people address this in different ways.
Some will sleep, their lives so busy and hectic that the slumber they deny themselves on the ground is their most urgent need when those other worldly cares diminsh.
Some watch a movie, or listen to music. Are their lives such that they cannot spend an hour or two without external stimulation? Do they try to distract themselves, from the flight, or from themselves - because being alone with their own thoughts might provoke some self awareness?
Some pace and mutter, impatient for the solitude to end. Some talk to other passengers, to stave off the lonliness.
What do you do?
(Note to the universe: next time I'm booked in for an understanding of universal truthes and zen contemplation, can I please have a little more knee room? Or is that your way of grounding me in ther here and now?)
Understanding the moment, and having a moment of perfect and total understanding, is a rare and beautiful thing. Some call it an epiphany, some call it divine grace, some call it nirvana. Whatever your name for it, having a perfect moment of self-awareness is something we should all strive for and treasure. Some Buddhists would argue that it is impossible to have total awareness of the universe. Taoists would tell you that it is possible, but you would be unable to explain it to anyone else, because we lack the words to describe it - an attempt to describe the Eternal Tao would be incomplete, and would therefore diminish it.
In any case, to lack complete understanding but still be in the moment - fully and totally focussed and aware without worries for the past or future - should not be underestimated. To be a rock in the stream: part of the river, yet outside it. Affecting the water, and affected by it, but also steadfast.
Being a passenger on an aeroplane is such an experience. You have control: you determined your origin and destination, and your flight time, but you have no control: the pilot steers the plane and determines where and when you land.
No effort on your part will make the journey quicker, you travel but you do not move and do not exert your will to affect the travel.
You stand on solid material, but exist far above the clouds.
You may have responsibilites or worries behind you or in front of you, but in the here and now you have none.
The world is below you and around you, but you cannot contact it and it cannot contact you.
It is a perfect opportunity to acheive a zen-like state, and people address this in different ways.
Some will sleep, their lives so busy and hectic that the slumber they deny themselves on the ground is their most urgent need when those other worldly cares diminsh.
Some watch a movie, or listen to music. Are their lives such that they cannot spend an hour or two without external stimulation? Do they try to distract themselves, from the flight, or from themselves - because being alone with their own thoughts might provoke some self awareness?
Some pace and mutter, impatient for the solitude to end. Some talk to other passengers, to stave off the lonliness.
What do you do?
(Note to the universe: next time I'm booked in for an understanding of universal truthes and zen contemplation, can I please have a little more knee room? Or is that your way of grounding me in ther here and now?)
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